How did I learn about conversing by reading quotes?
DISCLAIMER: I had to add two disclaimers on this article. You can continue reading if you are okay with reading some honest opinion. If not, feel free to tune out and have a nice day.
Damn, I turned 22 today. Feeling old? Physically yes maybe, mentally a big NO.
Why did I say that? It’s really funny how we associate the age or the number we have associated with it to mental growth and maturity directly. For all my amazing readers, I hate to break it to you but, age is NOT PROPORTIONAL to maturity and also getting wisdom teeth DOESN’T MAKE you wise.
“Bilwa, can we please talk about the article? I’m here for some value and not to about read your wisdom teeth rant??!!!!”
Well you are right, finally I’m all about my readers. To give a brief introduction about my conversation skills, they were BAD. I’m being honest here, hello don’t laugh?? So here is what inspired me to make good conversations with anyone: parents, friends, social media friends etc.
To be honest my first quote which helped me in conversation making is:
Age is just a number
Quite absurd? Now you know why I had to make that kind of introduction.
I don’t know who quoted this, and I know the context was of achieving heights even after 80 years or something. But for me, I was looking at it with a different perspective. That I could learn and get inspired from a 12–13 year old as well as a well accomplished 60 year old person. No shame or no ‘woke’ness about being from a different generation. (This is a very important skill in corporate environment by the way.)
And secondly the maturity, as I mentioned before it cannot be quantified. Like it’s so relative; a person mature according to me might be not so mature for you. (That’s because you all are more mature than me, ofcourse!)
How to apply this you might ask? Just respect everyone who tries making meaningful conversation with you (Not relatives though, who ask “Aage ka kya socha hai?”)
There’s one more quote that helps not only getting inspired but actually you being a meaningful conversation maker. (Helped me yaar, aap apna dekh lo)
Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble — Frank Tyger
I’ll be brutally honest, it’s freaking difficult to sit and listen. Like for some reason we all are so wired to tell our amazing advice to people, like what we learnt, what we feel, and what we think (just like I’m telling you all with this article!).
The major thing I learnt about listening well was when I started the podcast last month, it’s about job placements and everytime I was listening to people coming to share their experience, I noticed that each one had something unique to say. And that really made me value the power of listening.
But if you just try listening to each conversation you have with someone intently, you’ll notice so many things you actually don’t know about or it gives you this exact feeling, “Why didn’t I think of it this way?” or “Wait for reals?, I haven’t heard of this before” (literally **screams inside**).
Every conversation starts with good listening. — Unknown
I hope you are convinced since I added a relevant quote now.
Putting the conclusion out in nice formal words, you’ll get a different outlook on a particular topic by listening to other people and honestly it helps on many different levels, especially in terms of continuous growth and learning. Now this statement paves the way to our next quote.
Life is all about perspective.
Um a generic quote?? Yeah, it’s subjective and open to interpretation. But my interpretation out of it has been looking at a certain scenario from different angles. Ofcourse I’m not smart enough to think about all the angles, but I TRY. This part helps in empathising with people in different situations. If I honestly can’t relate to someone sharing or talking about something, I say this to me: “Since I was never in such kind of situation, I might not relate or realise the intensity of it.” This helps in keeping grounded and no stupid words coming out of me which you know might hurt the other person. Also looking at different opinions will help you broadening the perspective to some extent inturn helping the open-mindedness which definitely adds to having nice conversations.
Reading is the gateway skill that makes all the learning possible — Barack Obama.
I’m pretty sure you have heard the really famous quote quoted by Albert Einstein:
Once you stop learning, you start dying.
No, it just sounds brutal because of how true it is. Making conversations is not easy, like how far are you going to go with small talk? Once you start reading could be a novel, article, blogpost, and newsletters you are giving yourself enough food for thought, which will be helpful when you are talking to someone. (Hey watching good videos works fine too!) Like infact reading articles on Medium helped me gain a lot of general knowledge as well as some good thoughts to add in any conversation. You don’t agree on constantly consuming because you feel you are good conversation maker? Let me give you an example: You got a new iPhone and it’s been a while you have been using it, but alas by mistake it fell down and now you need a spare phone to use. Now let’s say the spare phone is a really old Android device with minimal features. And suddenly you are like ugh, this phone is so slow, it’s glitchy and not upgraded. Right there sir, not upgraded that’s what people will feel while talking to you if you stop updating yourself with some good resources.
Nothing compares to a beautiful conversation with a beautiful mind.
See I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t know what a beautiful mind is up until you remove all the barriers in your head about age, gender, color, rusted thoughts, close-minded nature (you want me to go on? I’m pretty sure I have offended half of the people by now). My point is you can have one conversation with someone unexpected and it can be life changing. And also to mention, this quote is a disclaimer to check whether the person you are having a conversation with is beautiful minded or not, hehe. I know it’s all relative and please don’t get offended, but all we can do is strive to make the best conversations with people 🙌.
We all want a tan function growth chart, by putting efforts that don’t even deserve a step function. — Me
Stop being mean? I’m talking about me here alright, we tend to fantasize a lot about the outcome more than the work that needs to be actually done to get there.
Now one good question on all of the wisdom I spilled, would be how to practice all of this and actually see growth in this case for conversational skills. Since we are amidst the pandemic, social media has been the one to rescue for meeting new people.
I improved a lot by approaching people on Twitter and LinkedIn. I think whoever is struggling with it should start with social media first, start talking and texting by putting out a good brief intro message. Then take conversation ahead by asking more about what they do, what their interests look like…once you found a common interest, there you go, you have something to hold on to while you are catching up again!
Once you gain confidence enough to approach anyone through texting, go one step ahead and maybe join someone in a Clubhouse session, or Twitter Spaces (try putting across your POV about the topic they are discussing). First try won’t be smooth, your heart will be waiting to jump out of the chest and your stomach won’t stop having those butterflies. But step by step we move ahead and you’ll be just fine making a conversation in group of unknown people. And once you master this, I think talking to your close ones would be very easy considering you already know their likes and interests or dislikes even!!
DISCLAIMER: All the above things have to be tried at your own risk. This article doesnt intend to promote “Sliding into DMs culture”, only here to make meaningful intellectual conversations.
If people find you creepy, well change the way you text goddamn it or maybe keep your social profile a bit active not completely blank by putting an absurd profile picture. The thing is try to stay in boundaries and make connections. And to be honest you’ll know the vibe with the replies you get.
To all my beautiful readers thank you for reading the whole article. Sending lots of love, and hope you all are doing well. If not, hang in there you’ll be a victorious warrior when you come out of it✨
In case of any feedback/suggestions, feel free to connect with me on my socials given in this link below: https://expy.bio/bilwa_gaonker